So... hello, hello... it's ME!! Still here. I did not forget about you, but, honestly, I did not know how to come back. Do I still have things to tell you in here? On Instagram, that's for sure. A sunny blue sky or a beautiful morning spent on the trails, are always worth sharing. Same on InstaStories, even if more often than not, what I share there is not that interesting. But that's my silly corner, so keep up with me on this one. And there's this space. In here, I try to be more thoughtful about the contents. So, I'm still not 100% sure if what I'm sharing is worth it, but I don't want my little website to die.
You will like it... or not. I will speak about me, my life, the previous months. (But actually that's always what I'm talking about...). Anyway, let's do this!
Previously on "RAPOG on the go"
Montpellier, France... but not for long anymore.
My worldwide running career had suddenly decided to skip town in April 2016. I was getting back into my regular activities of choice after a bad fall on the trails during the summer leaving me with a restitched knee (and after surviving, twice, an attack orchestrated by wild boars). And I was planning my international move (for the 5th time in my life).
(Guys, life is not easy...)
Back in California. It's been 9 months. We're here for good now. (After 10 years of moving in and out of different places and countries... it
hasn't actually been that easy... I AM never happy with what I have).
During these 9 months, I went back to France for 3 weeks, to welcome into the world my first niece (who is, and I'm totally objective here, the cutest little baby). It was in January. (The craving to post a picture was bad but #1, it's not my baby, and #2, you can totally be uninterested)
I'm still running (even if, after my knee
last summer, a tendon in my
heel decided to act out and prevented me from running all November, then I
strained my hamstrings in May, and finally, I may have started a new tradition: a bad fall once a year to celebrate summer... late June
I redid both my knees this time and added one rib to the party... but fortunately more fear than harm!).
I'm still swimming (as fast as a snail, but I don't care, my only goal is to have a relaxing swim).
I'm still biking... wait, no, that's not true. My poor little bike may have some spiderwebs. (I'm ashamed.) Don't worry, he got to taste the Californian fresh air, regularly at first... and then, I neglected him in favor of the trails...
And I found my way back to a Pilates studio. I even moved things up a gear: in May, I started a Pilates teacher training (idea I had in my head for 1-2 years, finally put into action). It's a long process. We'll see how it'll go!
We are back. It's what we wanted. And we're so relieved to know that, now, we don't have any expiration date on a visa hanging over our heads. So why was it difficult at first? Well, the world kept running while we were gone. I know, so rude, right? When we had to go back to France, we were starting to feel at home, to get to know people. And then we had to leave. We thought about when we would be back in California and, yeah, that would be so cool, we would be able to do that again, or share this with this person or that person. And finally we came back but nothing and no one had waited for us. Yes, we had to start from scratch (at least concerning our people network). It is what is is. It's part of the package. But I admit I had idealized some aspects of our move back.
Something else surprised me. I'm 100% sure I want to live in the USA. And for that I accept the compromises which come with it, including: being away from family. Honestly, I don't complain: Skype, WhatsApp, Instagram and co are great tools to stay in touch and don't feel the distance so much. But with my sister's baby added into the mix, I feel a pinching in my heart more often... I still manage to "speak" with her via Skype (I just have to be inventive to draw her attention to me: waving a colorful object, or wearing my headlamp... tested and approved solutions).
Also, knowing that, yes, now it's for good, may be a bit scary too?
And I lost one of my grandmothers, in February... that's difficult. We know it perfectly well when we decide to leave. We think about it when we go to give them a big hug before the big departure. "What if it was the last time I saw her?"... yes, this thought is always here in our head. Unfortunately, it came to be true for one of my grandmothers. Being so far away when something like that happens is not easy to deal with.
I don't want to end on such a sad note. So, let me tell you about all the things I'm so pleased to have back in my daily life. The quality of
life in California. The Pacific ocean, the mountains, Los Angeles not too far away. The sunshine. The positive attitude of the Americans, their
enthusiasm, their way of looking at differences or new things with an healthy curiosity, their friendliness, the fact they are not afraid of
failing and able to be happy if they succeed. Maybe a bit cliché but true: this feeling that everything is possible here.
(As for daily life treats, know I'm really glad for the large parking spaces, and the XL straight roads.)
Before going back to France in 2015, I had fallen in love with triathlon. New sports, new codes, new challenges to get excited about. I was dreaming about reaching for an Ironman one day. We moved back to France. We had agreed on buying ourselves good road bikes as consolation prices. We did it and that's how we welcomed Rox in our family (my bike... the playboy is no fun, he did not name his bike... so lame). We had great rides on the beautiful roads of the French countryside. But, whatever the weather, I can run. I cannot go for a bike ride. Quite frankly, I'm not that much in love with cycling to do it. As for swimming, it was hard to be back in the crowded lanes of the French swimming pools. I was still swimming regularly because I like it but more often than once, I was not that relaxed while leaving the pool!
I had the idea of training for a triathlon in France after the Boston Marathon, once spring and summer would be here. And, as you know, things just fell apart, and this idea went with it. I thought I would find the drive and the energy once back in California. Actually, running took over.
I don't rule out triathlon from my life. I may come back to it if the drive comes back, because, let's be honest, triathlon is so much fun! But for now, I go swimming just for fun. I feel the urge to put Rox on the road again, but for casual rides, not to train. Wait and see.
... and running
Well, as you already know, after this idyllic romance I lived with running, the end of my training for Boston, in April 2016, marked the beginning of a long long dry period. Not that I did not like running anymore. Running did not like me anymore. I did not understand what happened. Or at least, I have no sure answers. With time and hindsight, I have some ideas. But I like true and verified facts. It took me almost a year to get good sensations back on the majority of my runs (I still have bad runs, as any runner, but that's the normal kind of bad runs). However, I don't run as I ran before. I lost the speed and the stride I had. And I may never be able to come back to them. Above all, not knowing what happened scares the hell out of me. It may totally happen again anytime.
All in all, I started to bounce back at the beginning of the year. I first had good sensations again, on the trails. If I have to run on trails to feel (almost) like myself again, fine by me! Did you see the landscapes around here? Not too bad in my opinion. Also, I don't know how to explain it, but I am not longing anymore for this monotony we found running on the road. I loved it before. I can't find it anymore. On the trails, it goes up and it goes down, you have to handle that. That is what I like right now.
My state of mind
"Loosing" this special link I had with running showed me even more that, yes, I like being active, but running holds a special place above all of the others. I focused on it. I don't want and I'm not motivated by the same things. I don't feel the need to race anymore. I just want to go out there, enjoy the beautiful landscapes, and live a mini adventure on each and every run. That is what I long for these days. Pushing myself, training and watching my body adapts to run faster easier... it doesn't appeal to me anymore.
Having said all of that, you also have to know that another part of me woke up at the beginning of the year (I may have multiple personalities). A thought came to my mind from I don't know where. I did not take it seriously because it was ridiculously funny. So much that I let it stuck, so convinced it would not stand the test of reality. And weeks came and passed. Then months. And just like that, in 8 days, if nothing goes wrong until then (see, I still can't believe it), I'll be toeing the line of a 50 miler... Wait... WHAT??!!
This little voice in my head who woke up told me: "What the heck??!! Why are you so cautious all the time? What did you gain doing that?
Nothing. So, now it's over. We will truly go for it. We'll shoot for an unreachable goal. ALL IN!"
We'll talk more about it later?
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